Farm Update!
The one downfall of being told you can not or will not succeed for a large portion of your life is you start to believe it. This is especially true when the majority of that input takes place during your developmental years.
Many long-term complications stem from the lack of training and education in neurodiversity, learning disabilities, and the mental health of school-age children. ADHD in girls and young women is often completely overlooked due to the fact that girls and young women exhibit different symptoms. With boys and young men, it has always been much easier to identify.
We are all very aware of the classic ADHD symptoms exhibited in boys, but it looks so very different in girls. When I was diagnosed and started learning about the struggles I had faced my whole life, I realized that almost all of my mental health, emotional and academic struggles could be explained with the diagnosis. I am not lazy! I do, however, struggle with executive dysfunction*. I am not a spazz who gets upset too easily, and that needs to get over it. I struggle with emotional dysregulation**. I am not a scatterbrain who doesn't care, and that has not time management skills. My brain can't do just one thing at a time. There is not simple point A to point B with no stops... There are 52 stops before I get from A to B, meaning there are approximately 728 stops to get from A to Z before reaching a point where I can actually complete a task. That being said, I have completed other tasks on the way. It just took me longer to get there. Then there's the dopamine, delicious, delicious dopamine.
What's dopamine, you ask? Well, Web MD defines dopamine as a neurotransmitter that plays several important roles in the brain and body. It is an organic chemical of the catecholamine and phenethylamine families. Dopamine constitutes about 80% of the catecholamine content in the brain.
Some of you may be Smeagol blinking*** at the screen, saying, WTF are you trying to say, Lacey? Well, guys, what I am trying to say is my brain doesn't have enough dopamine, and dopamine is like your favorite drug... or really good pie. There is NEVER enough of it. Like that ficus, you forgot in the office during the first lockdown when you finally get back to it and notice it hasn't been watered in months. When you finally water it, it sucks up so much water. You have no idea how the soil had the capacity to hold it all. A lot of people with ADHD are guilty of following the dopamine and becoming time blind/ hyper-focusing on the things that make them happy and bring them joy. It explains a lot about my vast knowledge of animals, now doesn't it?!?
Alongside all of this comes depression and anxiety, thanks to the chemical imbalances in our brains. I personally struggle with the anxiety of letting people down and the need to explain my process of how or why I did or am doing something. Hense my, at times, ridiculous attention to detail.
So you can blame the ADHD for this off-topic, long-winded explanation for my lack of updates recently. Your welcome!
Now to the real reasoning for today's post!
Life never goes as completely as planned, but this time, I think it turned out better than the original plan. So hold on to your bifurcated nether garments because here comes a farm update!
OK! First of all, the first house we were all but closed on didn't... there were technicalities that sent us back to Ye Ol' ACME drawing board. But just like the relentless Wile. E. Coyote, we eventually found another anvil to drop on the roadrunner that is life.
After a discouraging number of swings and misses, we found a beautiful spot on the Annapolis River, in Carlton Corner, just outside of Bridgetown. It's not huge, and the barn hasn't seen animals in a while, but it's in good repair, and we move in the end of July.
In the meantime, I stressed and lost sleep about how to provide a safe and comfortable place for the animals of Nova Dawn.
This is where "what a small world" and "everything happens for a reason." collide to create a heart-wrenching yet amazing situation.
Due to the delay in the move and the frustration of another provincial lockdown, it was decided that I would take up semi permanent residence in Bear River. Setting up shop in Jenny and Jayar's sunroom-like a wayward cat in a sunspot...Mom always told me if you feed the stray cat, it may never leave.
There was space here at Che Milliagan for the animals but no infrastructure. However, right next door was a new pasture fence, a barn and not an animal to be seen. Upon investigation, I came to learn that it was the home of the sister of a high school friend and fellow animal lover. I messaged Penny, asking if I should reach out. I knew her sister Tammy was unwell and didn't want to cause extra stress. It turns out that Tammy was in the hospital, so Penny sent me to Harold, Tammy's husband. I contacted Harold via Facebook Messenger, and he told me to swing by the next day, so he and I could chat. Harold and Tammy had a beautiful herd of Nigerian goats, 11 in total, but when Tammy got sick, it was too much both physically and emotionally for Harold to manage, so he sold the lot. It wasn't hard to tell that he was heartbroken. I know firsthand the insane amount of emotion, stress and anxiety that is present at the end of a loved one's life, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I offered to lease the space from Harold and Tammy, but Harold told me if I did the minor fence repairs, cleaned the barn and left it clean when I went, I could have use of the space for as long as I needed it. We had a coffee and chatted, as it seemed he and I both fell from the tree of gab. As the conversation progressed, things started to fall into place, dots were connected, and I was gobsmacked to learn we had more than Penny as friends in common.
I had mentioned that I spent a good chunk of the last twenty years working with reptiles... That's when Harold asked me if I knew Lisa.
I thought there's no way he's talking about my Lisa. Harold continued to say that she worked with "Jungle Jim or Tinny Tim, I don't know he's some guy from Toronto." I asked if he meant Little Ray? "YES! that's it!" I kinda Smeagol blinked*** at him and asked if he meant Lisa Janes? I could tell by the look on his face he didn't quite recognize the name. So I followed up with Lisa Balcom? ...Balcom was her maiden name. Harold lit up, yep, that's the one!
It turns out that Sheldon, Lisa's stepdad is Harold's best friend. (Sheldon is by far one of my favourite people on the planet!)
We went on to swap many stories about Sheldon and Heather (Lisa's Mum) and Presley-Lisa's daughter (or some of you may know her as my Squish); it turned out to be a prolonged chat as one should expect when it comes to me and if you knew Sheldon, you wouldn't be surprised one bit.
I started to clean the barn and mend the fence (with help from my resident Rent-A-Teen Waylon-who by the way, is a godsend!-I've decided that fencing is the #1 reason people had children. Starting to run fence at 35 is not something I recommend) I had my trusty sidekick Penelope moved in that day, a few days later I moved in my trio of Muscoy ducks- Sir Frances, Mary and Elizabeth and now seven-week-old buff Brahma chicks-collectively know as "The Peeps" Everyone is doing amazingly. In fact, this morning, I went out to find my very first duck eggs! There is no question, the eggs are fertilized... if my hypothesis based on scientific observation is correct. Elizabeth nor Mary are broody (sitting on the eggs to incubate them), so I harvested my first treasures and brought them home! It was pretty exciting! I do hope one of the girls starts to sit soon, baby ducks would be very welcome. I will be sure to keep you updated.
Until then, Thanks for sticking with me. We have a long journey ahead! Until then, I hope you enjoy some of the pictures below.
<3Love Bean
This mornings eggs!
Stephie, keeper of the Rent-A-Teen
Penelope helping Jayar get her sunshade up!
And now to inspect
Our Happy Happy Ducks!
*for more info on executive dysfunction and ADHD, check out this paper! https://www.psychiatrist.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/25676_role-executive-function-adhd.pdf
**for more info on emotional dysregulation and ADHD, here is another paper! https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Martin-Herrmann-2/publication/50833902_Neurobiological_and_psychophysiological_correlates_of_emotional_dysregulation_in_ADHD_patients/links/5791cc6908ae083155320d09/Neurobiological-and-psychophysiological-correlates-of-emotional-dysregulation-in-ADHD-patients.pdf
*** A Smegal blink is when you look at someone in dismay and blink both eyes as if you were trying to clear your vision as to better understand the words the other person is saying. Smegal was Lisa's cat, and she would do it all the time.
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